Last words of my heart…

Why do complicated things happen… does it happen because you allow it? or it just happen with or without you noticing?

Why is “love” such a complicated thing?

most of the time the choices of the heart is always selfish… the heart wants to fullfill it’s own desires even if it pulls people apart…

sometimes people go mad because of love. They cry.. they breakdown and sometimes even die..

but why would they choose to hurt themselves by loving …if they can just ignore the feeling.
I felt love but something is always a miss… i cant specifically point it out before but now i know what it is…

The reason is that… ” I’m the only one Loving ”

or I’m the only one who believes that there is love in my past realtionship…

There will be nothing in the future if you're the only one who can feel love.. specially if the one you love… is waiting for someone else to love’em back again or was never really In loved with you in the first place …

There is no true love if only one person in a relationship can feel it…

I’ve known it for soo long… yet i deny my self of the answer, for my heart dictates the opposite of what my mind is trying to say…

Before i was loving too much… it hurts… I could even die!

But hey I'm still alive so like... yeah whatever xD

Then I tried to stop my self from loving and hey what do you know after 2 days of breaking up

News came that my "X" was found in naked with someone else at their house… still… it hurts much more than before… Makes me kinda regret breaking up but... Oh well i knew we never really like each other anyway.

Going back to topic... I can't even remember what my topic was but ANYWAY mooooving on...

Now… i dont know if i can keep this up… but freezing my heart is the only way for me to move on.. I’ll train my self not to love too much, not to be attracted to others and just plainly lose SOME of my emotions that couses me pain… somehow the progress is going smoothly but i cant assure my self that this will give me a better reason to enjoy life… still having no heart doesn’t mean i cant be good or bad… My mind is powerfull enough to portray such pseudo emotions anyway…

Now I have said the last words of my heart… I hope things get well for me…